Dear Reader,
Well some good news. Since the 10th of this month I am not snacking, tasting, nibbling, cheating, gorging, or binging. It still isn't the easiest thing when I cook for my children but I'm resisting.
Yesterday was a real test. I had a couple of disappointments that weighed on me a bit. Between 3 and 6pm I just wanted to eat. This time I recognized what was going on and managed to choose not to give into emotional eating. Food is not my comfort, the Holy Spirit is.
I had to choose to sit in the emotion of disappointment instead of medicating or numbing it with food. I had to choose to think on the Lord and not the source of the disappointments.
I wish I could tell you that I sprang out of that minor pit with fire in my eyes. I didn't. But I also didn't put food in my mouth. A small victory but a victory never the less! I will say we had a ladies only night at church last night and God showed up. He spoke to me and by the time it was over my urge to just eat was squashed.
By the way folks I am just not a super self-disciplined person. If you are I applaud you. I've always admired people like that. No, I am weak in the area of self-control. Saying no to myself isn't easy, but God helps me. Yes, He cares about my health. He wants to set me free from mindless eating, and the worship of all that is cream filled, deep fried, or salty and crunchy.
Why? He wants nothing that separates me from Him. He is a jealous God. If the love or need of food causes me to disobey Him in anyway then my love/need of food has to be broken. If when life stinks I reach for food and not my Maker then food has become my source and really that's sin.
So how am I doing this? PRAYER, PRAYER, PRAYER! Not just praying for help, which I do, but I mean the kind of prayer that leads me to fall in love with God all over again. Not just dutiful words but a heart that spills over with desire to just be with God...and to obey Him. To know Him more intimately than an In-N-Out (or Steak and Shake for the Midwest folks) double cheese burger cooked animal style with a large fries, and a large chocolate and strawberry shake...OK, my mouth is watering.
I thank God for helping me to lose weight, but I have news for you, I'm more thrilled with the weight that's coming off on the inside. The Lauren on the outside needs to lose about 20-30 more pounds. But the Lauren on the inside is pretty obese.
How overweight are you on the inside?
Last Blog 155
Today 153
Until next time,
Lauren
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